I regret it so much...

Well hi. Right now im looking at the window and thinking what cruel things have i done to my friends. Let me tell you one story. As you know the 1st of April people joke with each other. I had an idea that on the end destroyed many of my friendships. So lets start with the story. I made a blog named Traxerica. It means Gossip Girl but something like Goxxip Girl. Thtas what the X is about. And i told my 2 BBFL's about that idea. It was only a joke on the starting. When i started gossiping, i turned into a creature that wasent me. My friends were trying to stop me but they couldnt. They were screaming: ''Dont do this!''. I wasent listening. I was typing so fast i couldnt control myself. Today, i searched on the internet. Its called an opssesion of meanness. Its a virus that comes to mentaly incapable people. Well im not mentaly incapable but just a normal girl. The virus is portable when people talk. It's like when you feel anger for someone and you show it in a very sad and mean way. I still dont understand the text on the site so i dont know is this true or not, but i believe something did happen' to me. So next that happend is that i wrote many terrible things about the ones i love the most-my friends. A few days later i coudnt hold it in myself. I had to tell that to my best friend cos i saw he was hurt. Ive done many mistakes. When i told him thats me he was so upset he even wanted to punch me but he ran away. A few minutes later everybody was yelling: Goxxip Girl! Goxxip girl!''. I was feeling to sick i just wanted to dissapear from the human existance. Then the teacher sent us to the pedagogue. In the pedagouges room were two people signing up a little boy to school. She told us to wait outside. My best friend Zed was sitting and crying. Me and my two other BFFL's went to the toilet. There was a open window there. I wanted to dissapear like i said before. I climbed on the open window and i almost jumped. I also said ''Goodbye'' but then my friends catched me. I havent told that to my pedagogue. I said it only to my mother and my father. We promised we will always be with each other and we sweared we will try to not hurt. Then we went to the pedagouges room. My friend Zed was sitting their and he told the pedagouge everything. The moment i saw the pedagouges eyes, i admited. I wasent ready to tell that to my parents but i had to. When i came home, i wasent speaking for a while. I was pretending i was so happy. I was deeply dying inside. The day i told my parents they were shocked. They were actually upset cos i almost done a suicide. Thats my story.